A Girl at the Mall Asked if I Was Pregnant

Yes, you read that title correctly. Someone asked me if I was pregnant.

While looking for black skinny jeans, she shows me a stretchy pair-

Her: "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Me: "Sure."

Her: "Are you with child?"

Me: "No, I'm just fat." It was kind of funny how her smile froze in place with the realization of what she said.

My fiancé says that she was implying that the pants would stretch as I grow with pregnancy (they were these stretchy things) and wasn't implying anything, but honestly, how else do you take that? Your immediate thought would usually be "do I look pregnant?!" I thought the general rule was to NEVER EVER ASK.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep shopping after that? When I was younger, I would get really depressed clothes shopping and end up in tears because none of the "cool" clothes would fit me. As recently as this year, I would get extremely depressed when I went out shopping with friends because they could shop at the "skinny girls" stores and I couldn't (still can't). I would just wander away to a store I could actually fit in (but not afford because apparently fat girls are rich or something).

At first, after the girl asked if I was pregnant, when I looked in the mirror in the fitting room, all I could see was my fat stomach. How pudgy it is, how big it is. I swear it looked twenty times bigger than it did this morning. I couldn't see the person I am beyond that stomach. I couldn't see the girl that lost 24 pounds. I couldn't see the girl that finished a 5k in twenty one degrees. My awesomeness was overshadowed by a gut. All I could see was this massive stomach taking up the entire mirror.

I'm kind of glad to say, though, that since starting this body acceptance thing, I managed to keep shopping and I only got down for a little bit. Yes, I was more self conscious trying on clothes; but I didn't give up and leave in tears. I kept trying on clothes (in different stores) and managed a someway witty-ish retort to her question.

And guess what? I bought SIZE FOURTEEN PANTS. How's THAT for pregnant?!!! I use to be a size 20! Take THAT, foolish girl!

<3 - CFC