Hi all,

I imagine that the title of this post confuses some of you, so allow me to explain a bit. 

Explanation
My best friend, whom I dubbed SC on here (which stands for Skinny Chick, because I am original and super great at making up code names), and I have been inseparable for years. We have been friends since 5th grade and best friends since 10th. Everything we did, we did together. We were each just a part of the whole, for the most part. It was never just CFC or just SC- it was always SC and CFC (people used our real names, of course). 

After high school, I left my not-so-great home and lived with SC in her room at her parents' house for about a year and a half. We celebrated birthdays and holidays (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc) together, worked at the same places, and shared our problems. We were basically like a married couple minus the romance and stuff like that. For instance, when she had an issue with her bank account, I said something along the lines of "it's okay, we'll get through it" and started to think of how we could get more money.

Did I mention that it was her bank account and that I treated it as if it were my problem? She does the same thing with me. Well, did. It's different now.

We moved away from home and lived together up in Bellingham to attend college. We went to the same middle school, junior high, high school, community college, and university together. I remember SC saying that when she ran into some friends of ours in Bellingham, they exclaimed "Look! It's one half of SC and CFC!" I'm telling you, we were attached at the hip.

I tended to (and sometimes still do) speak about myself in the plural form because I was a part of a whole. I used words such as "us" and "we" all the time (because I'm royalty, apparently). We talked every day and had what we called the "psychic link/bond" because we could basically read each other's minds. We have a cat together, shared all of our stuff, bought stuff together, and oddly enough I'm marrying her cousin.

The point is, we were TIGHT.

Hi all!

Today I have another guest blogger, Tsu! We've been "internet friends" for about 7 years (I think we "met" when I was about 16) and she's pretty awesome. She emailed me to tell me about her story and to share it with all of you. She is on the thinner side (she says it herself) but still has had body issues, further showing that ANYONE can have body issues, regardless of size. I hope that you all enjoy it! 

<3 - CFC

Hello, my name is Tsu. I am not overweight and I don't really have body issues mostly because I am the type of person who is rather stubborn and does not care what the world thinks of me. But... I am a 23 year old female; lets get real here, what girl hasn't had some body image issues? We're all pretty damn critical of ourselves. It's like, female nature.

I'm not sharing pictures because I prefer to remain anonymous on the internet, but I will describe myself to you all~! I'm 5'3'' tall and I'm about 140lbs and I'm Asian. Not being conceited, but I'd say I'm relatively pretty; I take good care of my skin so I generally don't have too many blemishes. 

Now, at 5'3'' and 140lbs, if you check a BMI (Body Mass Index) weight chart, is overweight by definition. Let me tell you all something...BMI weight charts can suck it! They aren't the most accurate way to deal with weight because each body is different and what should matter is your body fat percentage. I weigh 140lbs, but I don't look it. My waist is about 28'' and my hips are 32'' or 35'' (I forget) and my bust is 34''. So my U.S pant size is a 3 or 5 (because all brands are a little different) Dress size I'm about a 5/6. So to paint a picture, I'm not overweight; I'm thin and pretty physically fit and I don't have any cellulite. My body fat percentage is low/average.

However, on a side note, I did have this jerk of a doctor once. For a routine physical, she came in barely glanced at me and looked at my chart saw my weight and height and continued to not look up at me and said "For your BMI, you're a little overweight. You should try to keep a healthy diet and exercise a little." I stared at her and waited for the dumb...not nice word...to look up at me and said "I am not fat. I run 5 miles every other day and I keep a pretty strict diet." Yeah, that shut her up fast. So if a doctor ever starts rattling off BMI crap to you, don't let it get you down. 

Okay, onto my story, when I was in middle school, I was very self conscious because...well let's blame puberty because what 13 year old girl in the world hasn't been self conscious? If you weren't lucky you XD rock on~! And despite being thin...I had some thighs...hahaha my best friend and I had some thighs and man is it an ego killer when you squeeze into jeans (the year was 2003 and tight fit bell bottoms were back in and I believe low rise was more and more popular). So basically I had some big thighs and when I tried to fit into jeans, that was always where they got stuck. When I got them all the way up, I think I had practically cut off blood flow to my legs annnd the waist was too big. Omg what a nightmare...and really all that happened was my butt grew into match my thighs better. So I went from that 0-1 to a 3-4. I don't care what size you are, when you go up in pants size you're always like...noooo. So 01->3-4 or like 7-8->9-10 your self confidence is like ~_~ you are fat...go work out fatty. <- my self conscious is harsh lol. But heyy a decent amount of my friends were bigger than me and were like, "Shush you're skinny, don't complain." So I was like...huh...okay :) (what can I say I'm simple minded haha). I was about 110lbs at this time.

Onto high school. I got into Cross Country 3 mile (5k) races. So work outs were everyday of the week running 3-10 miles. Hill days. Sprint days. Two days of weight lifting a week. Invitationals on Sat. So my only day off was Sunday. Now diet wise, I cut out all fast food. I generally only drank water and refused to drink anything else except the occasional Gatorade after a race. Sometimes a V8 juice. Maybe some oj, but mostly water. I tried to eat mostly healthy foods. In mass though...burning the amount of calories I was, I ate healthy foods but a lot of food nonetheless. I could devour two plates of pasta and it didn't matter because I'd be burning it up in no time. I was fat phobic on myself. I didn't run competitively year round. Only from July-February. So I had 4 months off and wouldn't typically run. The occasional long jog for the hell of it at best, but the slightest sign of fat on my stomach...(and I mean slight...I had abs in those days. I little two pack :) ) but yeah the slightest sign of fat sent me into a frenzy of ab workouts. Like, I went nuts. I was so used to being lean that body fat freaked me out. Notably I also developed lactose intolerance in high school. :( I miss ice cream. In high school I stayed about 115-120lbs the whole time. 

Onto college...Well I loved running but injuries took me down senior year. I came in 7th place one race but one mile in my foot had been in pain. I ignored it because I was in 5th place then. I dropped back to 7th but pushed onward. I was running about 7:30 miles in a 3 mile race. I caused stress fractures in my arch. But heyy I got my medal! Hahaha, stupid me. I also went to art college so no sports :( Now initially I tried to run on my own but between school, partying, and whatever else, I eventually fell off that. And I gained weight. I was the heaviest I'd ever been. I went up to 147lbs- I could have cried. But overall, I still wasn't anything close to what most people would consider obese. Again, I knew people who were bigger than me and well I felt bad complaining since I was still smaller. But inside haaated my guts. 

My parents, especially my dad, had no qualms about holding back. My dad would often toss in the "looking a little chubby" kind of comments. Now my parents aren't abusive; my dad's not a total jerk, before anyone gets mad at him. They're honest and I didn't mind the push. Mygo was like "boo, I'm fat" but for me, if people are noticing then I felt I should do something about it. At this time, I was a pretty solid pant size 7. So soooo depressed when my clothing started not fitting. I got an associates degree, left my first college, and moved home for my bachelors. I went into workout mode hard core again. I ran 5 miles every other day or so. I did 200 varied crunches daily and 20 push ups. I had a strict diet of fruits and veggies, low carbs. I drank lots of green tea which, by the way, is great for you for weight loss and general health. I used green tea and coffee to kick start the metabolism I'd destroyed with my poor, broke college student eating habits. But I noticed my weight only reduced to 140lbs despite my pant size going back to a 3. When I lost the weight is when a good handful of people realized I had in fact put weight on in the first place. I had started to complain I was fat and no one believed me. But when I lost it all everyone was like "Wow you look great, you didn't look bad before but I see what you mean when you said you were a little overweight." My dad said something well, funny, but awful (I laughed): "Whew, for a little bit there it looked like you had eaten one of yourself." And heyy, best part was I felt good about myself again. 

Since then I've come to find a better balance. If you notice I went from extreme health nut to eating like total crap in college back to health nut. But once I dropped the weight, I went back to eating a more balanced diet. I allow myself to occasionally indulge in junk food without feeling guilty and the need to go run a couple miles. I'm still not a fan of fast food like McDonald's; it makes me feel sick. But I have a soft spot for Chinese food. I got back into running after college but when old injuries flared up again, I stopped and do other things.

I live by the pants rule. Are my pants getting too tight? Is my stomach (which, by the way, no longer needs to be rock solid with ab muscle) but is my stomach starting to hang over too much? Am I getting the dreaded muffin top? And so I will check back the junk food if I feel I am. Maybe walk a little more. Take the stairs at school over the elevator. Ride a bike. I still eat a pretty healthy diet just because it's better for you than junky processed food. Treat your body good and you'll feel good. I'm not a twig. I'm not obese. I'm somewhere in the middle leaning toward the thin side and overall I think I look good no matter what anyone says! Good luck to you all on accepting your bodies!

-Tsu~!

Go ahead and take a moment to read this article. Next, read the comments on the article. This is just one of many articles about the following picture

Recently, the Internet blew up over a picture of a fit looking, half-dressed woman with three children around her. The caption of the picture says "What's your excuse?" The woman in question is Maria Kang, 

The Drama

I've read quite a few articles centering around this picture and the criticism that is has drawn from some people. Some people have said that she is a bully. Some people have said that she's an inspiration. 

I personally don't think that she's either.

On the "bully" side, I can see their point, though I think that calling her a bully is extreme. She didn't say anything bad about anyone else. It's not the fact that she's skinny/fit that caused the complaint, it's the caption "What's your excuse?" that caused an issue. Not every woman's body can bounce back so quickly after childbirth, even with working hard. Some women have health issues that prevent them from looking like this or being able to be super active. Some women have diseases or take medication that make them literally incapable of losing weight. A lot of women have insecurities, and this picture seems to have sent them all bubbling to the surface. So many of us have been bullied that we're quick to snap at someone that we perceive as a bully. However, fat people that were bullied by thin people turning into bullies towards thin people is just as bad. It's a vicious cycle that a lot of people are stuck in.

On the "inspirational" side, I can see how people find her inspirational. She is a mother of three that works a LOT, has two businesses, and just has a lot going on and she still manages to look like that. She takes time out of each day to exercise in order to look like that. She makes sure that her family is healthy. She worked hard for that body and for that confidence and I commend her for it. I hope to be able to develop that kind of conviction and drive.

The biggest complaint has been that pictures like this just further the image that ALL women should strive to look like this. The caption with the image kind of reads as: "What's your excuse for not being this hot?" She's wearing hardly any clothes and posing in a very... I don't want to say sexual way because it's not really sexual (not with the children there), but in a "provocative" way while not wearing a lot of clothing. Women are told EVERY DAY that we should be working out and getting toned and look like air-brushed models at all times. A lot of women have commented saying that a different caption wouldn't have made this such a big deal. Something like, "it's possible" or something less personal than "what's your excuse?" 

All this being said, I don't think that's what she meant to do at all and I have zero issue with this picture. I don't think that she was fat shaming, being a bully, or asking us why we're not as hot as she is. My issue is with the comments on the articles.

My Take on It

Here is my issue with this whole "controversy:" women are just tearing each other down. Instead of empowering each other to do better and be better, we're too busy yelling "fat shaming!" or "thin shaming!" at each other to do anything else. Women are fighting in the comments sections of all the articles I've seen and it makes me sad. This picture never even said anything about being fat, but the personal question "What's your excuse?" sent some people up in flames.

Related Tangent: I hate the phrase "only dogs go for bones, real men are into curves" or meat or whatever. I didn't always hate that quote until a friend of mine (who is thinner) pointed out that it was rude. And it is. The phrase she ACTUALLY pointed out was, and I quote, "once you go big, you never go twig." I posted this phrase on my FaceBook page and she pointed out that it is exactly as offensive as saying that "once you go skinny, you'll never go big." The first is thin-shaming and the second is fat-shaming and I agree with her.

Yes, we fatties have gotten a lot of grief over the years from bullies in our personal lives and the media, but thin people have insecurities just like fat people do and feel the same pressure to be perfect as we do. Without telling my friend's story, I know that she was bullied and she's thin *gasp*. BULLYING HAPPENS TO EVERYONE, REGARDLESS OF SIZE. If you were ever bullied, why would you EVER want to cause that kind of pain to someone else?

Want to know a really awesome secret? "Fat" people and "thin" people ARE BOTH PEOPLE. We divide up into two opposing camps and shame each other and it is WRONG. Furthermore, those two quotes demean men just as much as they do women. They assume that men are "dogs" or basically only after sex. These two quotes. which I've read in the article comments, are sexist and WRONG.

SO...

Basically, my point is that we as people should all just learn to accept each other. I can't (and don't want to) control your actions or life, so I can't judge it. I don't know your heart, I'm not you. My only request is that you don't judge me since you don't know me. Just like we don't know Maria Kang or all those people yelling in the comments.

So yeah. Quit shaming each other and bullying each other.

Hi all,

So as some of you may have noticed, I've become a bit obsessed with fitness and I've basically come out and said that I want to lose weight (like you all didn't know that already). I'm still all about body acceptance and if you like yourself and you're considered "heavier," my hat's off to you. I love myself and accept myself as I am right now too; however, I want to make myself BETTER. CFC version 3.0, baby!

I have been "fat" for as long as I can remember. I was chubby through middle school, bigger in junior high, and fat in high school. It wasn't until I reached university that I REALLY got big. Instead of the freshman 15, I got the freshman 30. I was poor (aren't most college kids?) so I ate pretty much nothing but pasta, pasta sides, and pasta TV dinners.

PASTA IS EVIL!

More specifically, eating a LOT of pasta ALL of the time is evil. Pasta in moderation is amazing and yummy and wonderful. Pasta all the time is carbs and fat and WHY DO I SUDDENLY WEIGH SO MUCH?!

Enough about pasta. This isn't supposed to be about my love affair with pasta.

ANYWAYS, I was big. I swear, every year I went up another pants size. I got up to a size 20 and was perilously close to going up to a size 22 (the one pair of size 20 jeans I owned was getting tight). I refused to wear jeans because they were too confining for my tummy and I could almost never find my size. I was miserable and embarrassed to be in my own skin. I couldn't physically keep up with my friends and I would get winded easily. I remember going on a hike with two of my skinnier friends and being winded, sore, grumpy, and always at LEAST twenty feet behind them. It was embarrassing and miserable. (What is with all of this past tense? I STILL can only half keep up with them and still don't fit into a lot of clothes, lol). 

But I was lazy and ALWAYS busy, so I ignored it. I figured that one day I would get healthy, I would just do it "later." 

I'd say my wake-up call (my "later") came when I stepped on the scale one day (because apparently I was feeling masochistic) and it read 206 back at me. I was mortified. I once told myself (jokingly, I hope. I'm not even sure if I was joking, which is the scary part) that I would kill myself if I got to 200 pounds. I felt an ice cold knot in my stomach. Suicide is no laughing matter (BELIEVE me, I have dealt with it a lot in my life). I felt sick. Had I really hated myself and my life enough to say that at some point in the past? (Answer: Yes. But this is neither the time or place to get into that.)

That was when this blog was born. This wonderful, amazing blog that allows me to vent, allows me to learn, and allows me to track my progress. Since the beginning of this blog, I've lost almost 20 pounds. I've had my highs and my lows, my months of progress followed by months of plateauing and stopping. I started this blog with two things in mind: learning to love myself and making myself a healthier person. I have met some amazing people through my FaceBook page. 

I have become things that I never thought I could be. I am a blogger, a dancer, a fitness junkie, and an amateur runner (my first 5K is in December!). I love eating healthy food and my body no longer rejects vegetables as a foreign substance. I'm still bigger and I still have a LONG way to go before I am anywhere near where I want to be, but the fact is that I am GOING. That, and I still can't completely kick my addiction to junk food, but no one is perfect.

In the back of my mind. the biggest reason I started this blog was because I wanted to lose weight. I swore that I would always tell the truth to my readers and that I would be accountable to THEM when I failed. I can lie and break promises to myself pretty easily; I can't do the same thing to others. I wanted to go about my weight loss without supplements and without fad dieting; I wanted to change my lifestyle. I wanted to show the world that it could be done. I wanted to become healthier and learn to love myself regardless of what my body looked like.

Were my reasons to lose weight shallow? Yes and no. Who DOESN'T want to have an easy time finding clothes? Who DOESN'T want to be thought of as attractive? Who DOESN'T want to be able to keep up with their friends? Yes, I am a fat chick and I want to lose weight. Yes, I do talk about body acceptance while striving to change mine. No, I will NEVER apologize for that or any of this because it is MY life. These are MY choices. If you're fine just the way you are, big or small, then I am damn proud of you. Love yourself.


I love myself enough to know that I need to change my ways so that I can live a long and happy life. I wasn't happy when I ate crap food and was sedentary. Since I started working out a lot and eating better, I am HAPPY. I don't have bouts of almost crippling depression anymore. I don't have "dark" or "bad" days. I am simply high off of life and possibly the endorphins/dopamine that is released from all of my working out. It's a healthy high.

I am finally happy and on the road to staying that way, all thanks to starting this blog and this journey.


<3 - CFC