I did this sort of topic once in the very beginning of the blog, but I wanted to do it again because it's my blog and I can vent when I want to. You would vent too if it happened to you.

As some of you may know, I'm going to be in a couple of weddings this summer. Dress shopping as the biggest girl has reminded me of the fact that I am A BIG GIRL. It's taken a sledgehammer to my self esteem. So for all the skinny people out there, THIS is what I and my fellow fat people have to deal with. Keep this in mind when trying to shove us in to dresses with all your skinny friends.

CLOTHES
Clothing and I have a love/hate relationship. I love cute clothes and the people that make the cute clothes hate fat people. They HATE us. To make matters even worse, skinny people DON'T GET IT. "I can fit into EVERYTHING, so why can't you?" Because I'm fat with big boobs! No, I can't fit into that God forsaken dress! Since when is a size L THAT SMALL?!

I had an absolutely wonderful experience the other day. One of my best friends is getting married and I'm one of the "groomswomen." His bride-to-be has been looking at dresses for the other groomswomen and I to wear. I've already had to have the "big boob" talk with her about how large breasts must have enough fabric to cover them in a dress. The other two groomswomen are large chested like me (at a D I'm the small one). However, they're also skinny whereas I am the fat friend. We finally found a dress that we all liked and they only go up to an L which is APPARENTLY a size 10-12. That ain't happening. So I got to give her the "I am fat" talk complete with my measurements because having to cry at my desk feeling like a fat slob wasn't enough of an embarrassment.

She couldn't seem to understand at first why the dress wouldn't work since it's stretchy and that maybe they could take it out. First of all, no dress is stretching SIX inches and looking good. Second, you can't magically add fabric to a stretchy dress to let it out. It doesn't work like that.

It's not her fault I'm fat and it's not her fault she doesn't get it because she's never had to be fat or well endowed. Her and my skinny friends will NEVER understand.

So remember people, fat people need more fabric.

BEING THE FAT FRIEND
Being the fat one in the group SUCKS. It sucks hardcore. I've had guys become my "friend" for the sole purpose of trying to get with SC. Here's a tip, boys: FUCK OFF. Grow a pair and go talk to her instead of using me.

My skinny friends also just CANNOT understand that I am FAT. "No, you're not fat." Bitch please. I can see myself and I can read a scale. I am FAT. I didn't say I was ugly, I didn't say I wasn't awesome (I am), and I didn't say I wasn't sexy. I'm fat and it's clear as day. QUIT BABYING ME AND LIVING IN DENIAL. I pride myself in being able to put myself in another person's place and to be able to get where they're coming from. WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT I AM FAT?!

Going to the mall sucks. I might seriously stop going clothing shopping with SC and DF. They can go into Forever 21, Wet Seal, and ANYWHERE and find clothes. I get to tag along and get glares from the store workers because I can't fit into anything at their store. "Quit glaring, you're just jealous cuz you're flat chested!" I get bored and I feel like a COW. I leave the mall feeling like never eating again. Then when there's a store that I can fit in, they're bored and uninterested.

It's even MORE awesome when you also can't keep up with everyone else. I will avoid going places and doing things because I hate slowing down the group. I'm fat and I sweat, no I will not go for a hike, thank you though. And they JUST DON'T GET IT. "C'mon, it'll be fun!" How am I supposed to respond to your skinny ass that I am FAT and I can't GO THAT FAR and that my added layers make me SWEAT and I won't have fun because all that I'll be able to think about is how out of breath I am and how much I'm holding you back. GO ON WITHOUT ME.

THE DOCTOR
Ah yes, the doctor. The only other person that will acknowledge that I'm fat. I swear to GOD if I get one more weight loss lecture from them I'll scream. They should include that on my chart. "Already fat-shamed."

So there you have it, folks. I'm fat and I'm clearly angry about it right now. No, don't comment and tell me how awesome I am and how I can lose weight. Instead, maybe try to get people to understand what it's like being bigger and maybe, just maybe, don't belittle or discriminate against larger people. Even at my smallest I will still be a "larger" size. It's who I am. So take it or leave it.

<3 - CFC

One fun way of getting yourself to work out is to think of it as training for THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Even if you don't believe that that will ever happen (you are so getting eaten first), you can still at least think of it as getting ready for any emergency/disaster. Or possibly preparing to become a superhero, whatever floats your boat.

Here are a few things to keep in mind that will assist you in your physical preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse. (DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a professional or a doctor.)

1. CARDIO
The first rule (according to Zombieland AND me) is CARDIO! When the Zpoc arrives, chances are that you're going to be doing a lot of running and/or walking. It's best to start improving on cardio NOW when you're not being chased by hordes of the undead. Every time you work out make sure to work on cardio!

Also- don't forget to cool down! I don't know about you, but if I run and then just stop, I can get dizzy because I haven't let my heart rate come back down. If I run and then walk for awhile, it's fine; it also helps reduce the chance of injuring yourself. Cooling down is basically coming back down to your normal state from your work out state. It can keep you from feeling worn out or sick afterwards. Do something that's low intensity, like walking, and then stretch afterwards. Don't forget to eat something when you're all done to refuel! And don't neglect the H2O!

2. STRENGTH TRAINING
Chances are that you're going to have to fight some zombies and possibly other, desperate humans. Wouldn't you rather swing that bat with enough force to re-kill the undead? You're probably going to have to carry your supplies with you and you can't very well do that when you're weak, so train hard!

You might encounter situations where you're expected to climb or lift heavy objects to save your life and the lives of those in your group. Strength training will prepare you for this.

Make sure to exercise EVERY muscle when you work out! You don't want to find out that you've neglected something when your life is on the line! Switch what parts of your body you're doing each day so that you give your muscles time to rest so you don't hurt yourself (the one with the limp will die first). I switch off doing:

• Upper Body: Chest, biceps, triceps, forearms, upper back, abdominal, shoulders
• Lower Body: Hamstrings, quads, calves, adductors/abductors, ankle strengthening (I have weak ankles and feet), lower back, glutes

Hopefully I didn't leave anything out, but you get the idea. I also want to start working on my hand strength for trigger pulling and for shooting higher caliber guns. Remember, pacifism is all well and good until a zombie is trying to eat you.

3. STRETCH
The 18th rule of Zombie land (according to this) is to limber up! The last place you want to pull a muscle is when battling the undead. Do NOT stretch right before working out, though! Seriously. Stretching before you've warmed up at all can actually make you WEAKER and can potentially cause you to hurt yourself. I usually do my cardio and THEN stretch. Then I do weights and then I stretch again when I'm done. I don't do yoga (though I probably should), but stretching is really good for you if you do it right. Don't stretch until you hurt yourself, though. That is the exact opposite of what we're trying to do!

4. EAT HEALTHY
You want to be at your best and fastest when the Zombie Apocalypse rolls around. When you eat better, you feel better. As one friend said to me, just try working out after eating a bunch of crap food. It'll be AWFUL. If you eat right, working out will be a lot easier and you'll feel better all around. Imagine if you were on a week long junk food binge and THEN the zombies appeared! You sure would be a tasty meal by that point.

This is just the physical training aspect of preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. There's also weapons training, fighting training (however one says that), survival training (including wilderness survival and medical skills), and stockpiling. The physical training is just one aspect! May I suggest reading the Zombie Survival Guide? It'll teach you all about zombies as well as some basic survival techniques for the end.

Stay vigilant!

<3 - CFC

Today I've decided to write about writing in my blog. Reminds me of how metadata is data about data or metacognition is thinking about thinking... metablogwriting. That is today's blog: metablogwriting. ANYWAYS-

So far, I've really liked writing this blog. I feel like I'm accountable to my readers so I work harder than if I were only accountable to myself. I won't lie to you guys and say "Oh yeah, I totally went to the gym and didn't eat ALL the food" if I actually didn't. I don't want to have bad days because I don't want to have to tell others that I screwed up, so I avoid having them (if that makes any sense at all). I want to succeed because YOU want me to succeed. :)

I love the comments and encouragement that I receive on Facebook. It allows me to share my successes and failures and I know that people are out there rooting for me. I love "meeting" new people that have liked my page and talking to them. Seeing my page views and likes go up at all makes me so happy and makes me work that much harder!

I'd also like to say that I am 100% honest and totally myself on here. If you're reading this, you're basically reading my mind (now aren't YOU psychic). That's why there are so many things in parenthesis (I like parenthesis)- I'm basically writing my thoughts as I think them. This is an almost conscious stream of thought (I go back and try to edit the worst of it, possibly organize it). You may have noticed I jump around a lot. Conversations jump around in real life and this is my one-sided conversation with all of you (unless you comment. I love comments).

The only crap part is trying to write about something new every single day. I've been at this for a bit over a month now and I'm starting to falter on topics. It does challenge me creatively as a writer (though on here, I'm more of a rambler) to be able to come up with topics each day. It may not challenge my skill (what skillz?!), but it definitely challenges my imagination/creativity. That's why I have the survey on the side asking for topics and why I ask for help on Facebook. I want to know what you want to read and I want to get out of thinking of a topic for a day. ;)

Anyways, thanks for reading my ramblings and supporting my blog and I! I'll keep doing my best!

<3 - CFC