*NOTE: I am NOT the one that had a heart attack. I have plenty of friends that will probably jump to conclusions based on that title, so I wanted to clarify that I DID NOT have a heart attack, but I know someone that did and it scared the hell out of me.

Hi everyone,

Today, we are going to have some serious talk. My coworker, Juli, had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago, right here at work. (You can read her story HERE and, if you're willing/able, you can donate to help cover her medical expenses. Even if you can't or don't want to donate, I suggest you read her story as a cautionary tale.) I read her Go Fund Me page linked above and decided that I wanted to write a blog about how having a heart attack when you're a woman (and hell, even as a man) doesn't feel like what TV has told us it should feel like. In her post, Juli said "I do not have all the details of how and when but I do know that my story maybe able to save a life or two. Young women need to know that it really can happen to them and what signs to look for.  It is this that excites me. To think my suffering will be another's blessing." So I will spread her story as far as my blog will allow so that others may learn from her.

THE NITTY GRITTY DETAILS

First, allow me to define what a heart attack is. A heart attack is "a sudden and sometimes fatal occurrence of coronary thrombosis, typically resulting in the death of part of a heart muscle." Thanks, Google. You're a pal.

In order to keep pumping and keep you alive, your heart requires its own supply of oxygen and nutrients (since keeping you alive tends to be a 24/7/365 kind of job). A heart attack happens when cholesterol plaque builds up in the arteries leading to the heart. Blood clots around the plaque and then blood can't get to the heart, which starves the heart tissue. This can cause a part of the heart to die, which is a heart attack.

Plaque build up and an increased risk for heart attack can be caused by disease, being genetically predisposed to plaque build up, smoking, high blood pressure, and poor health/eating decisions like eating lots of saturated fats.

SYMPTOMS

Take this QUIZ to see what you know about a heart attack. I only got 3/5.

Most people assume that a heart attack means having sudden chest pain, pain in your left arm, and then collapsing. While all of that is associated with a heart attack, those are not the only symptoms. Juli described her heart attack as: "I ignored the signs for some time and the pain that they warn you about was nothing like what I felt. It was more of a pressure in my arm. Under my armpit. I felt as if I had heart burn. It wasn't until I had the most severe tightening of my chest and things started to get fuzzy." That was the point where a coworker of ours drove her to the emergency room. I was, unfortunately, on lunch when it happened.

Symptoms of a heart attack include:

• Discomfort, pressure, heaviness, or pain in the chest, arm, or below the breastbone
• Discomfort radiating to the back, jaw, throat, or arm
• Fullness, indigestion, or choking feeling (may feel like heartburn)
• Sweating, nausea, vomiting, or dizziness
• Extreme weakness, anxiety, or shortness of breath
• Rapid or irregular heartbeats

Women experience heart attacks differently than men do. Twenty percent (1/5) of women will not have the same symptoms as a man does. They don't have the classic "elephant on my chest/chest pain" symptoms, but instead experience a feeling of indigestion that can travel to their back, shortness of breath, nausea, and hyperventilation. This is frequently misdiagnosed as a GI track issue, when in reality, you are dying. If you are not assertive enough about being seen in the ER with these symptoms, it can cost you your life.

HOW TO HELP PREVENT A HEART ATTACK/HEART DISEASE

There are many things that you can do to help prevent heart issues:

• Do not use tobacco and if you do, work on quitting.
• Be more active! Just walking for 30 minutes on most days can really help.
• Eat healthier! Avoid processed, high fat foods. Eat less red meat and more lean meats like poultry or fish. Eat more fruits and veggies!
• Maintain a healthier weight
• GET. MORE. SLEEP.
• Go to the doctor for regular checkups.
• Manage high blood pressure/diabetes
• TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR

IN CONCLUSION

I know this wasn't my most thrilling post (it seemed inappropriate to use humor here), but I think that it's important for people (especially women, since our symptoms are weird) to know this stuff. Take care of your heart. Take care of your health. You never know who is relying on you to live a long, strong life. 

<3 - CFC

Sources (and good articles to read): 

• http://answers.webmd.com/answers/1179015/what-is-a-heart-attack
  
• http://www.bettermedicine.com/taking-cholesterol-seriously/foods-that-cause-plaque-buildup-in-the-arteries?redirect=beme
  
• http://www.webmd.com/cholesterol-management/cholesterol-and-artery-plaque-buildup
  
• http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/guide/heart-disease-heart-attacks
  
• http://www.webmd.com/women/video/heart-attack-women-different
• http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/heart-disease-prevention/art-20046502
  

Hi everyone! Long time no blog! :3

You may or may not be wondering how I've been or what I've been up to. Well, I've had a hard time thinking of something to blog about and I don't really want to blog for the sake of blogging, if that makes any sense, so I've been away from the writing board.

I'll dive right into the new thing that I am doing: I joined a group called Save Fitness, a group created by Tanji Johnson, an IFBB pro. What is IFBB, you may or may not be asking? IFBB is the International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness; Tanji is a body builder and competes in both physique and fitness. Yes, there are different levels in body building, as the pic below illustrates (fitness is where you do a routine that showcases your fitness level). Basically, this blog is about why I joined and some of the internal struggles that I have faced in doing so. I have only been a member for a few weeks.

PLEASE NOTE: If you wanna bash ANY of these women, you can get the (pardon the term) FUCK off of my website right the hell now. I don't tolerate fat shaming and I sure as hell won't tolerate ANYONE saying how "she looks like a man" or "she's too skinny" or whatever garbage someone's bigoted brain shoots out because I don't tolerate body-shaming PERIOD. I am ALL ABOUT body acceptance at any size, just as I am ALL ABOUT health at any size. These women are GORGEOUS and I will throw down with anyone that dares to say different. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO HAVE A BODY.

WHY I AM DOING THIS

I joined Save Fitness for a few different reasons. The first and foremost reason is that I desperately want more friends. Since I moved down from Bellingham, I've found that it can get kind of lonely, just the fiance and I. Not only that, almost NONE of my close friends are fitness minded; I can count them on one hand (dear friends reading this: I love you all, I swear!). I've always been more of a loner when it comes to doing things, but trying to learn more and be healthier has been REALLY hard to do alone. It's hard to try to "eat clean" or whatever when everyone around you (including the previously mentioned fiance) is pounding down delicious, delicious food and/or encouraging you to skip a work out and/or encouraging you to take a drink/stay up late. I need to be around people that have the same values that I am working so hard to develop so that I can stay motivated and focused, even when I'm around my friends that can eat for days with no consequences (and so maybe I can quit trying to eat my weight in donuts/pizza because I have an unhealthy relationship with food).

Another reason I wanted to join is because I wanted to see if I really could compete. I want to prove to the world that this fatty-since-birth, this the-fat-friend, could DO IT. I want to compete in 2015 in bikini or figure. I prefer the glam of bikini, but my muscle building ability and lack of balance/sass make me think I'll be better suited to figure. Neither is better than the other; it's for purely shallow reasons that I favor bikini (I prefer the suits and poses :3).

I've said it before and I'll say it again: IT'S NOT ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT. I DO NOT HATE MY BODY. It's about trying to be the healthiest I can be and I LOVE MY FAT, PALE BODY. Even if the below makes it seem like I don't.

MY STRUGGLES SO FAR

(If any of the girls in Save Fitness are reading this right now, this is not about you. You've all been great and supportive; this is all purely internal and based off of my own insecurities.)

My first, actual impression of Save Fitness was during the initial consultation. You, along with a group of however many other women signed up, come and meet with Tanji and she explains to you about competing to make sure that you understand how much work it really is. She also takes your through some of the poses. Tanji is AWESOME and I loved the girls I met and was super excited to learn more. On the other hand, I was painfully nervous.

I was the fattest, palest woman at that gathering.

I suddenly felt like a swollen whale and I just wanted to curl into a ball and hide. They were all very nice and I don't think anyone was judging me, but I was judging me and comparing my body to theirs. My mind was screaming "What are you even DOING here? LEAVE. You have no business here with these people. You don't fit in. Get out. Come back when you can stop being such a fat ass. LEAVE. You are the ONLY person here without a background in sports or ANYTHING. LEAVE." When Tanji said that we were going to be taking turns posing in front of everyone else, I almost died again. "WHAT?! I am WAY too fat to be up in front of these fit females! I AM A COW. Oh GOD they'll all see how pale, uncoordinated, and FAT I am." I love my body, I honestly and truly do. That being said, I am still human and sometimes, I can become almost paralyzed by insecurity. 

I want to tell you that I overcame it. I want to tell you that I said "I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR" and rocked it. I gave myself pep talks on the inside. I assured myself. I reminded myself of how far I have come. I did the posing in front of everyone and it was just as bad at it as I thought I would be. I want to tell you that I was strong and that I found my self-confidence again. 

The truth is, I went out to my car and cried when it was over. I just bawled my eyes out and I have no real idea why.

How could I, the perpetual fatty, every hope to compete? How could I fit in? How could I have ever thought that I would be WORTHY? Look at those girls, why can't I do that! Why can't I look like that? Why can't I BE that? Why have I been eating like I'm starving for the last three weeks? Why has it been months since I've seen progress? BLAH. BLAH. SELF DOUBT. BLAH.

Well, me being me, I went on to the next step, which was a private consultation with Tanji. Again, I want to tell you that I was super confident and killed it; I didn't. I saw that she had the girl before me take her shirt off (or maybe she just lifted it up, I can't remember) in the gym mirror while surrounded by people and I wanted to bolt for a second. What if she makes ME take my shirt off?

Long story short, she didn't, and it was alright. She was super cool. :3 

MY DECISION

Well, me being who I am, I can't just quit. I have this almost sick need to push myself well out of my comfort zone, even if it leaves me crying in a parking lot plagued by self-doubt and insecurity. I HAVE to work past this. I have to embrace who I am RIGHT NOW at any size because that is what I stand for. That is why I made CFC. CFC is like Batman: she is a symbol. (Heehee, I compared myself to Batman. That makes me positively giddy with glee.) I cannot let that symbol down, just like Bruce Wayne can't let down Batman. "People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man, I'm flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be destroyed; but as a symbol... as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting." I will never stop striving to spread body acceptance and the only way I can do that is by ALWAYS accepting my body exactly as it is. THAT is what CFC is all about.

If Tanji asks me to take my shirt off in the gym (which apparently she does), I am going to take it off and everyone can gaze at my PALE, FLABBY GLORY AND BASK IN MY AWESOME.

I'll let you know how it goes. ;)

<3 - CFC

P.S. I need a Super-CFC logo STAT, now. :)

UPDATE, 6/11/2014: OMG. My friend made me a Super-CFC logo!!! :D :D :D I LOVE IT.

I work a desk job like a lot of people, which means that I sit for eight hours a day (and that's not counting my bus rides to and from work). That's not super healthy, so I'm workng to combat it. Working desk jobs has seriously impacted the health of Americans and shortened our life spans. Here is a list of some things that I am doing to be healthier at work:

• I started sitting on an exercise ball. This helps me remember proper posture and works my core. They say it takes pressure off of your lower back, but those muscles get the most tired for me. I can bounce on it or do curls on it from time to time to be more active. I'm also working to have better posture in my regular work chair.

• I set hourly reminders in Outlook to get up and stretch.

• I lift my legs up for ten seconds at a time to work my core.

• I change positions and fidget a bit so that I'm not a statue. 

• I'm saving up for a stand/sit desk conversion kit. This would allow me to sit OR stand at work, as needed/desired. Standing is healthier and burns more calories. They're like $300-500 depending on what you want.

• I'm working to make sure that my desk is ergonomically correct. I have my monitors raised, support for my wrists, and my chair is designed to support my back. I just have to try to maintain good posture for my adjustments to all matter.

• I work out on my lunch hours (There's a gym in my building. Some of my coworkers go to nearby gyms. You could even just go for a walk.). I do about 20 minutes of cardio (run a mile and then walk) and then work out a specific body area. For example, Mondays I work my chest, Tuesdays are for my arms, Wednesday is back day, Thursday is leg/butt day, and Friday is for my abdominals.

Do you do anything to help yourself stay healthy despite a desk job? Sound off in the comments if you do so we can all learn from each other! :D

<3 - CFC

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the long awaited EXERCISING BLOG!!!

Okay, first things first [DISCLAIMER]: I am NOT a professional, personal trainer, or a physician- these are just things that I do. Consult a physician before starting any exercise program and all that jazz. 

Here's the basics of a work out: warm up, stretch, work out, cool down, and stretch.

It's important to warm up before stretching so that you don't hurt yourself, just like it's important to stretch before working out. 

HERE IS WHAT I DO

I like to do cardio first, then weights of some sort. I usually "run" (jog/walk) a mile and then walk for cardio and then either upper body or lower body. A lot of people do chest day, leg day, arm day, et cetera. I just do upper body and lower body because I'm cool like that. I try to work out all the muscles on the top/bottom each time. Except maybe those ones on the face in this pic:

I have made a weekly schedule for my wedding (pictured below)! I made it intentionally vague so that I don't push myself too hard each day, while still being active. I can be more active some days and less active others, depending on the day. I have also given myself the right to rest days if I REALLY need to (like today as I write this- my calves hurt too much to go run or do lower body day).

I track my work outs on a calendar using star stickers because I am immature. :D It's like getting a gold star back in elementary school. Each star color means something. Looking at the calendar makes me feel great- I keep it by my bed.

You can join a gym (I'm at Planet Fitness), join a class, work out outside, or work out at home. I'm sure that there's more than that. I collected work outs that I can do at home from Seventeen Magazine for years and categorized all of them. I work out either at home, at the gym, or at my apartment's fitness center.

I like to try to track my workouts so that I can see how many calories I burned. I like to use Calorie Count on my iPhone (they also have a website) to track how many calories I consume and burn. At the very least, it keeps me from completely overeating. I just started using Fitocracy to track my workouts in more depth. This app/website is super fun. You level up as you work out and can go on quests. It's nerdy, like me. :3

It can be kind of hard to do certain stretches or lift weights when you're bigger. My stomach can get in the way sometimes, that's for sure. There are plenty of resources online to help you figure out how to work out at any size, as well as personal trainers, coaches, and doctors. I have a tendency to really push myself, both physically, mentally, and emotionally, so I'm hesitant to give advice because it could possibly get you hurt. I come close to hurting myself sometimes, which is why I force myself to take rest days. Exercise is important, but you can't be active if you're injured.

The important part, to me, is to make it fun. If you make it work, you don't want to do it. I have Zumba Fitness Core for the Kinect and dance workout DVDs, as well as take dance classes. I like to run on the treadmill because I enjoy it, some people like to run outside (I don't). I like the weight machines at the gym because I'm too lazy for free weights and I like the gym because that's where I'm most motivated; in my own home, I don't want to do anything. To each their own. 

I hope that helped a little!

<3 - CFC

Hello ladies and gents! Today we're (well, I'm) going to discuss the sexiness known as dieting. When I refer to "dieting," I'm not talking about eating less/better; I'm talking about things like Weight Watchers, the Atkins Diet, Jenny Craig, etc. When you want to lose weight, the best thing to do is to change your overall lifestyle to be healthier and lose weight gradually. It's far easier to keep off because 1) I don't remember, I just remember it is and 2) it's a new LIFESTYLE, so it's your new LIFE.

When you start a diet that requires you to deprive yourself, you're setting yourself up for failure. If you manage to not break during your diet, what happens when you're "finished" with it? Simple: you gain it all back. You indulge and you're no longer depriving yourself. That is why I endorse just changing your overall eating habits. I just eat less overall and less processed food. That doesn't mean that I don't treat myself, I just treat myself a bit less. 

Tracking my calories and nutrition helps me make sure I'm not overeating and that I don't get down on myself when I do. Tracking calories isn't for everyone, but it's the only way that I personally can manage portion control. When I stop using my calorie counter, I have trouble sticking to smaller portions, though after using it I am WAY better at it. :)

Now, maybe I should address the title and ACTUALLY write about THE DANGERS OF DIETING instead of preaching. :)

NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCIES

When you follow fad diets and cut out things like carbs or fats, you can stop getting the nutrition that you need. "Following a low-carbohydrate diet can cause high blood pressure and the unhealthy release of ketones, compounds made during the burning of fat. Ketones can build up in the blood, causing nausea and weakness." (Source) High protein diets mean that you don't get the energy from carbs that your body uses as fuel. If you're eating way more beef it can be bad for your heart because of higher cholesterol and saturated fat levels.

When you follow random "fad" diets, you can stop getting the vitamins and minerals that you need to SURVIVE. That's bad. 

YO YO DIETING

Yo-yo dieting is when you lose a bunch of weight, gain it back, then lose it again in an endless cycle of weight change. This can be hard on your body and on your self esteem. Continuously changing your weight has been shown to lower the number of white blood cells your body makes, which basically means that it weakens your immune system. 

"Other studies suggest that constant weight gain and subsequent weight loss may increase your risk for certain health problems, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and gall bladder disease.

Additionally, the psychological factor of yo-yo dieting cannot be neglected. Some studies have found that women who experience large weight fluctuations also experience an increased measure of psychological distress, life dissatisfaction and reduced levels of self-efficacy. " (Source)

YOU'LL PROBABLY GAIN THE WEIGHT BACK

When you go on a diet, lose weight, then go back to the way you ate before, you're probably going to gain it all back because *shock* NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Then you enter that yo-yo dieting thing mentioned above.

Furthermore, when you lose weight and gain it back, you frequently gain back even more than you originally lost. That's why I think it's so much better for you to change to a healthier lifestyle. You can safely and healthily lose weight at a gradual rate and then keep it off. You'll be healthier and feel healthier if you just LIVE HEALTHIER.

<3 - CFC

As some of you may know, I've recently (a few months ago) switched from stuff that comes from a box to stuff known as "fresh food." Growing up on crap food, the concept of eating mostly fresh food was alien to me. The points I'm about to share with you are fairly obvious, but ones that you don't think about when you decide to eat fresh meat/veggies/fruit instead of mac n cheese from a box.

I'm not discouraging you from eating fresh foods in lieu of boxed/canned ones (I LOVE my new lifestyle/diet thing), I'm warning you about what you might be facing because I didn't think about this when I switched (the switch was SOOO worth it).

YOU WILL NEVER STOP GROCERY SHOPPING. EVER.

EVER, OHMYGAWD. I use to shop maybe twice a month. MAYBE. Everything I ate didn't really go bad, so I could keep from shopping very often. Now that I eat ground turkey on my sandwich, salads, and other fresh, better for me stuff I swear I go shopping at least every 3-5 days, which really should have been obvious in the beginning.

At least I spend less per trip? Spreads out the spending? It IS kind of cheaper because buying a few veggies every week doesn't cost much. The meat is the most expensive part, so I buy it on sale and freeze it when I can or buy it pre-frozen and thaw what I need. It's not the money that's the issue, it's the frequency, though the trips are shorter because you're usually only getting a few things.

YOU WILL HAVE SOMETHING GO BAD IN YOUR FRIDGE.

Part of the reason why you'll start grocery shopping more is because *shock* fresh food goes bad and at some point in time, you'll let it go bad in your fridge. I can guarantee that the fastest way to learn how much you can eat before it goes bad is to let it go bad. After dealing with the nasty food (that you totally paid for), you'll want to stop wasting money and smelling icky food.

Lucky for me I worked in a butcher block so working with fresh meat is easy for me and I know about how much meat I eat and how long it lasts. I still mess up sometimes, though.

YOUR BODY WILL HAVE TO ADJUST. IT WILL BE UNPLEASANT.

WARNING: Potential TMI

If you're anything like how I was, your body isn't familiar with how to process raw veggies. I could eat ANYTHING processed or greasy and be fine (hell, fast food cures my upset stomach). If I ate veggies.... let's just say that I got sick. Diarrhea can occur and yes, it can be green. Fruit use to give me stomach aches because I couldn't handle how acidic it was. It took me about a week or two (possibly three) to adjust and to be able to eat fruits and veggies without wanting to die.

Thankfully, I can eat as many plants as I want now and not get sick (except spinach). However, that being said, my body no longer can deal with junk food or crap food because my body likes to live on the edge (of my sanity). I switched to only good food and now I can't handle the bad food as well. I secretly think that my body hates me and enjoys tormenting me.

THE PREPARATION/TIME FACTOR

You will have to cut up all those fruits and veggies and you will have to cook any meat that you buy, both of which take time. This requires you to have to manage your time in a way that allows you to do this.

I cut all of my plant-food up at once and store it in tupperware so that I can use it as I go. I cook five turkey burgers at once and separate them (definitely freeze them separate) so I can grab them when I want them (five just happens to be how many I can make out of a pound of burger). Doing it all at once makes it way easier to pack my lunch at night and to make meals the rare times when I'm at home.

IN THE END,

 I am very glad that I switched to fresh food. I've lost about 12-14 pounds as of this blog entry and I feel a LOT better. I don't know how else to describe it, I just feel... better. I don't get sick as often (I live in a cold, windy, wet place and my body is not down with that) and when I have gotten sick, it was milder (cold season). I feel like I have more energy and the world's a little brighter. My body is getting what it needs and it's quite happy (as am I). My moods have balanced out (hormone crap, don't ask) and I just feel... good. :D

<3 - CFC

"Highway hypnosis, also known as white line fever, is a mental state in which a person can drive a truck or automobile great distances, responding to external events in the expected manner with no recollection of having consciously done so. In this state, the driver's conscious mind is apparently fully focused elsewhere, with seemingly direct processing of the masses of information needed to drive safely. Highway hypnosis is just one manifestation of a relatively commonplace experience, where the conscious and unconscious minds appear to concentrate on different things." -Source

I get something similar to this while driving. When I drive for long distances, especially in the dark, the road going by sort of hypnotizes me and it becomes very hard to stay awake or to pay attention or anything. Everything starts to look weird and I start not blinking as much to keep my eyes open, which seriously doesn't help the whole getting tired thing. 

I'm only blogging quickly about this because I want to make sure that, if any of you experience the symptoms of road hypnosis (which I did BIG time while driving all day yesterday) that you know to PULL OVER AND TAKE A BREAK. It is VERY dangerous.VERY, VERY DANGEROUS. You can't react as quickly to things and if you fall asleep while controlling a speeding hunk of metal, things aren't going to end well for you or anyone who happens to be driving near you.

SO PULL OVER.

<3 - CFC

Oh, food cravings.

They are the bane of my existence and I am not alone. I've written before about how a lot of the ingredients in modern food are addictive (refined sugars, high fructose corn syrup, etc) and that's as much as I've talked about the subject. I was recently asked how I deal with the cravings that come with this addiction.

To be honest, I'm still fighting that battle. I have my days where I win and I have my days where I lose; however, I'm starting to win far more than lose. I grew up eating primarily restaurant food, fast food, TV dinners, and pretty much any food that came in a box or a can. Moderation was a word that I could define, but not truly understand. It didn't help that I was pretty sad/depressed growing up (AWESOME childhood) and thus I emotionally ate a lot.

Since starting this blog and my new, healthier lifestyle, I've done a lot better at handling my cravings. I will list some of the things that I have done that have helped me (You know me, lists are my thing. So are parenthesis).

1. No one is going to like this, but willpower is my first weapon. It hasn't always been my strongest, but I've learned that if I REALLY fight it, I won't eat it. Once you go for like a week or so without the stuff you usually crave, the cravings start to weaken. When you give in, they come back and you have to fight again.
   
2. When my willpower starts to weaken (I'm only human), I eat a small amount of something "bad" for me so that I don't end up eating a crap ton. I find that it's better to give in a little at first than to let it get so bad that you eat WAY too much. That being said, for me it was better to not give in for the first week to help my body get use to the new diet.
   
3. I let myself have one small treat a day, like a licorice whip or SOMETHING small. On days where I didn't work out or ate more than I thought I should, I don't get a "treat."
4. When I DO end up giving in, I pretend like it didn't happen the next day and work hard not to give in again. Like I said above, once you give in, the cravings come back and you have to start over again.
5. Find healthier versions of your junk foods (hint of salt potato chips for me) and only eat one serving of it. 
6. Find a substitute that stops your craving or at least takes the edge off of it. Grapes, to me, are the candy of the fruit world and help me when I'm craving sweets. 
7. I keep track of my calories pretty meticulously and being able to see how bad something is for me makes me want it less. Also, seeing my totals for calories and fats helps me to not add to it.
8. Progress! Each pound I lose motivates me to keep working at it and I like the feeling of progress more than I like the taste of candy.

It's kind of unfair for me to talk about this because I'm now allergic to chocolate, which was one of my favorite comfort foods. I have no issue resisting chocolate now because the reaction my body has to it is very unpleasant.

I hope that helps. What do YOU do to resist cravings?

<3 - CFC

I have a sad story to tell.

I am mildly addicted to canned tuna fish. I love canned tuna fish. I ate it pretty much every day at work for the last couple of months. I loved it growing up and came to the realization that I'm an adult and can now eat what I want, when I want. Thus canned tuna and hint of salt potato chips ALL THE TIME. That and an ungodly amount of tomatoes.

CANNED TUNA FISH DOES NOT LOVE PEOPLE. AT ALL. IT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO EAT IT. IT ONLY SEEKS AN UNHOLY VENGEANCE ON HUMANS.

Tuna fish can contain a lot of the element mercury, which isn't good to eat in large quantities, as my friend's fiance pointed out to me. So I decided to look it up, thus making the discovery that I'm eating far too much. Here, let the internet explain:

What is mercury?

According to Google: "The chemical element of atomic number 80, a heavy silvery-white metal that is liquid at ordinary temperatures." You most commonly see it in thermometers, which is why you shouldn't break those.

Why is mercury bad?

"Once in the human body, mercury acts as a neurotoxin, interfering with the brain and nervous system.

Exposure to mercury can be particularly hazardous for pregnant women and small children. During the first several years of life, a child's brain is still developing and rapidly absorbing nutrients. Even in low doses, mercury may affect a child's development, delaying walking and talking, shortening attention span and causing learning disabilities. Less frequent, high dose prenatal and infant exposures to mercury can cause mental retardation, cerebral palsy, deafness and blindness.

In adults, mercury poisoning can adversely affect fertility and blood pressure regulation [REALLY?! IS EVERYTHING TRYING TO MESS WITH MY BLOOD PRESSURE?!] and can cause memory loss, tremors, vision loss and numbness of the fingers and toes. A growing body of evidence suggests that exposure to mercury may also lead to heart disease."
- Source

How does mercury get into fish?

"Mercury is emitted from coal-fired power plants and other industrial sources. It drifts through the atmosphere and rains down on rivers, lakes and the ocean.

Once in the water, bacteria convert the metal into toxic methylmercury, which builds up in the tissues of marine animals. As bigger fish eat smaller fish, mercury accumulates, so top predators like tuna, king mackerel and swordfish are the most contaminated." - Source

Fish Tips (Source):

1. Do not eat Shark, Swordfish, King Mackerel, or Tilefish because they contain high levels of mercury.
2. Eat up to 12 ounces (2 average meals) a week of a variety of fish and shellfish that are lower in mercury. 
   
3. Five of the most commonly eaten fish that are low in mercury are shrimp, canned light tuna, salmon, pollock, and catfish. Another commonly eaten fish, albacore ("white") tuna has more mercury than canned light tuna [according to other sources, up to three times more]. So, when choosing your two meals of fish and shellfish, you may eat up to 6 ounces (one average meal) of albacore tuna per week.
4. Check local advisories about the safety of fish caught by family and friends in your local lakes, rivers, and coastal areas. If no advice is available, eat up to 6 ounces (one average meal) per week of fish you catch from local waters, but don't consume any other fish during that week.
   

So basically, I CAN'T EAT CANNED CHUNK ALBACORE TUNA FIVE TIMES A WEEK. D: I switched to chicken. *grumble* Lean and not trying to kill me. Screw you, fish.

<3 (NO <3 FOR YOU, FISH!) - CFC

Hi all! As some of you may have seen on my Facebook page, I recently reached the ten pound mark. I credit a lot of my success to 1) the encouragement and support that I get from my awesome readers, Facebook fans, and friends and 2) my own personal motivation and determination. You can get all the support in the world towards succeeding in any endeavor, but none of that means anything if you can't motivate yourself. So today I want to blog about some things that I do to motivate myself.

I'll start out with my thought processes. So much of the battle towards improving ANYTHING is purely mental and  I'll be the first to admit that I don't always win.  For me, it's a new lifestyle and not a crash course diet so I don't let the days when I lose get me down. "Oops. I skipped the gym." Oh well, what's done is done and it's time to move on. I'll make up for it. "Oops. I ate a bunch of cookies or ate more than I intended to." Better not make that a habit and get over it.

When I work out and start to lag, I remind myself over and over why I'm doing this. I tell myself that I am not the kind of person to give up and that I fight on. I ask myself if I NEED something before I buy it or eat it (in the case of junk food).

You have to accept who you are and what you've done every single day. You are the only you out there and it's a waste of time to hate yourself or bring yourself down if you mess up. I've been in a state of self-loathing most of my life and I know firsthand how hard it is to change that mindset. But if you want to change anything, you first have to change how you think. The minute you hear that bastard voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough or you're too fat or ANYTHING negative, stop it. Just don't listen to it. Start telling yourself all the reasons why you're amazing. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself: "I accept myself right now, unconditionally" (I got that from the "Hungry for Change" documentary I watched). Why would you want to improve anything in your life if you hate yourself? No one ever wants to work for someone they hate. The first step is to learn to love yourself and to love the life you've been given.

Another thing that I like to do is to surround myself with positive things. I like to remind myself to love myself and I like to remind myself what I'm working towards. Part of that is setting goals and part of that is positive reinforcement. I've posted some pictures of the things that I have around my apartment that encourage me. 

I always have quotes on this mirror, though right now I have a countdown for when my BF comes home from his deployment. I also keep a list of goals in the upper left hand corner of the mirror, though that one's a bit old. Yes, those are ponies.

This is on the top of my full body mirror because I AM AWESOME. ;) 
Yes, that's another pony.

This is a new one. It's on the mirror above my sink that I use everyday (why do I have so many mirrors???).

These are my rad positivity bracelets by Alexa's Angels. :D I wear them every single day. I wanted them FOREVER and had to wait for them to go on clearance. :)

These are my jars to track my weight progress. The left one is for the pounds that I have left to lose and when I lose weight, I transfer the gems to the right jar. The star beads are for each goal weight and the disco ball is for my ultimate goal weight.

Yes, MORE PONIES. Deal with it.

For every ten pounds I lose/milestone I reach, I'm buying myself a present. I lost ten pounds total so I bought myself new stickers.

This is my sexy scale. The heart says: My World, My Body, My Life, My Mind, My Heart, My Spirit, Myself, and My World in it for all the things that I love about me. :) It makes stepping on the scale more pleasant. A lot of people are afraid of this inanimate object, whereas I now love mine.

Feel free to steal or modify any of these ideas to help motivate you for whatever goals you have! :D It's a lot of fun. What do you do to motivate yourself?

<3 - CFC