I can't think of anything fat related to write about, so I'm going to write about deployments today. As most of you know, I'm dating someone in the military. Dating HIM is awesome. Dating someone in the military is hard and can really suck, especially if you're not prepared to cope with it. It's the military part that can suck. Right now, my bf is deployed overseas and won't be back until March. I got lucky- I'm with someone that really is only gone for about six months at a time. If that sounds like an eternity for you (it is) and you couldn't go that long, don't date someone in the military. They have enough to deal with when they're done, they don't need a break up overseas to deal with or to come home to a cheating whore (which apparently happens A LOT). If you commit yourself to someone (and no, I don't care if it's marriage or just bf/gf) and you cheat on them, you are a disgraceful cheating whore and you should feel extremely awful about yourself as a person. Especially if you cheated while someone was deployed. /end rant
Lucky for me I've never been the kind of person that actually misses people (except, apparently, him). I know, it's weird, but I don't. I don't miss the people back home. I don't really get home sick. I think it has to do with my crap childhood. Don't get me wrong- I want to see the people back home again, I just don't experience the sensation of missing someone the same way.
Now that I get to enjoy this "missing" thing everyone talks about, here's some pros and cons to having your significant other deployed (if you don't look at the pros to make yourself smile, you'll just be miserable):
- CON: Lonely nights.
- PRO: ALL of the bed space. Seriously, I sleep like, spread eagle and have a twin bed. My bf is 6'3" and I move in my sleep. We have some crappy nights, lol. I plan on upgrading to a full before he comes home. :)
- CON: They're not there for big events (mine is missed Halloween and our one year anniversary and is going to miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, and Valentine's Day.)
- PRO: You have more free time to do what you want. (Fill that free time up or you will go insane. Why do you think I blog and go to the gym and do two swing dance clubs while working 40 hours a week? I must never be without something to do. So PRO: Get more shit done.")
- CON: "Sexually deprived for your freedom." <- There's a reason why this saying exists. There's no hugs, kisses, hand-holding, cuddling, or anything. It sucks. I would kill for just a hug and a kiss right now. And now I'm tearing up. Awesome.
- PRO: ....I got nothing. I guess if you don't like the physical stuff? O.o
- CON: The random crying. It is just awful. I don't know if other people do that, but I do. Very infrequently and only when I'm alone. But sometimes I just miss him and it makes me really sad.
- PRO: ....Um... um.... if you're like me and it only happens occasionally, it's not that bad?
- CON: You're lonely.
- PRO: You get closer. I always thought the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" saying was a load of crap (probably because I never really missed someone before). It's not. I appreciate him more and we're "cuter" *gags*. I can't believe I can say that.
TIPS FOR SURVIVING (from a n00b):
- Keep busy. I cannot stress this enough. I don't get sad as much when I'm busy, so I just stay busy. I do projects. I planned a big Halloween event for my swing club, made Christmas presents, do Christmas cards, this blog, the gym- anything. I'm usually more the... not introverted, but shades of it.... type, but now I have to have more social time.
- Count down or don't (depends on you). I started counting the days down from day one. That's how I roll. Each day, for me, is one day closer to seeing him and I like seeing the number go down each day. I started at 187 and now it's down to 120. I have a dry-erase countdown on my mirror and two jars of marbles for counting down. One has days left and one has days gone. Some people countdown months or paychecks, but that's not fast enough for me. I get super excited when I get to a "milestone." Like today- 120. Tomorrow will be 119 and I'm SO excited. :) I like counting things, alright?
- Communicate as much as possible. Emails, phone calls, letters, iPhones (which are AWESOME), or whatever. Communication is vital.
- Send care packages! You can send packages cheap to bases using flat rate boxes at the US Post Office. The biggest one is only around $14. It makes them happy and it's fun to do. Planning mine makes me happy. :)
- Wear something that reminds you of them. It could be a piece of jewelry or a locket with their picture. I have a name tape bracelet and a helicopter necklace charm I bought right when we started going out again. I also have a loop keychain from here that says "USAF Girlfriend" on it. It's the little things.
So yeah. Being a significant other to someone in the military is both an honor and a challenge. Deployments are a worrisome pain-in-the-ass and I hate them already. However, if you have the right person, it's totally worth it. :) I can almost hear SC (my roommate whom I've dubbed "skinny chick") gagging when she reads this.
<3 - CFC