Today, I would like to talk about a fat "relapse." I can't think of a word other than relapse to describe it (though fatty/sugary foods ARE addictive. So it kind of works?) and I absolutely hate the phrase "falling off the wagon" because when the hell did I get on a wagon and who is driving (I'm sick and sleep deprived right now, prepare for weird phrases)?
I (ironically) wrote an article a little while ago about getting through the holidays. I pretty much ignored my own advice and did everything I promised myself I wouldn't do. I haven't been to the gym in two weeks because I was so busy with the holidays (I did manage a few, short work outs, a lot of walking, and some dancing), I ate a crap ton (and now feel like crap), and I even managed to go on a few shopping sprees (...I still don't feel bad about this last one). If I wasn't so out of it right now, I would be mad at myself.
Just a few days can tear down months of work when you're trying to make a change. I'm trying very hard right now to become a better person all around- better with money, healthier, a better roommate, etc. Completely losing all self control is not how I do that. I didn't even log calories or anything. What the hell have I been eating? (Answer: ALL OF THE COOKIES)
So I'm going to take my own advice (for once) and just let it go. I've said this many times, and I'll say it again: a lot of people stay stuck in a lifestyle they don't really want anymore (or totally fail at getting healthier/getting fit/losing weight) because they let one bad day (or a bad week or two, as in my case) discourage them. They don't want to put in the hard work to start up again so they quit. I went back to my old vices- so what? Does that somehow make me a bad person? Am I any less sexy because of it? NO. I might have put back on a pound or two (F-U scale, I'm not checking), but who the heck cares?! This is a journey, not some crash course diet. I'm trying to get healthier and lead a better lifestyle while still embracing my curves. This blog may come off as me trying to lose weight to become a skinny chick but it's not. I'm trying to get healthier and part of that is learning self control.
I'm going to take these last few weeks as a lesson and start over. I haven't failed at what I'm doing, I merely made a mistake.
I haven't failed so long as I haven't given up.
<3 - CFC