Today I have another guest blogger, Tsu! We've been "internet friends" for about 7 years (I think we "met" when I was about 16) and she's pretty awesome. She emailed me to tell me about her story and to share it with all of you. She is on the thinner side (she says it herself) but still has had body issues, further showing that ANYONE can have body issues, regardless of size. I hope that you all enjoy it!
<3 - CFC
Hello, my name is Tsu. I am not overweight and I don't really have body issues mostly because I am the type of person who is rather stubborn and does not care what the world thinks of me. But... I am a 23 year old female; lets get real here, what girl hasn't had some body image issues? We're all pretty damn critical of ourselves. It's like, female nature.
I'm not sharing pictures because I prefer to remain anonymous on the internet, but I will describe myself to you all~! I'm 5'3'' tall and I'm about 140lbs and I'm Asian. Not being conceited, but I'd say I'm relatively pretty; I take good care of my skin so I generally don't have too many blemishes.
Now, at 5'3'' and 140lbs, if you check a BMI (Body Mass Index) weight chart, is overweight by definition. Let me tell you all something...BMI weight charts can suck it! They aren't the most accurate way to deal with weight because each body is different and what should matter is your body fat percentage. I weigh 140lbs, but I don't look it. My waist is about 28'' and my hips are 32'' or 35'' (I forget) and my bust is 34''. So my U.S pant size is a 3 or 5 (because all brands are a little different) Dress size I'm about a 5/6. So to paint a picture, I'm not overweight; I'm thin and pretty physically fit and I don't have any cellulite. My body fat percentage is low/average.
However, on a side note, I did have this jerk of a doctor once. For a routine physical, she came in barely glanced at me and looked at my chart saw my weight and height and continued to not look up at me and said "For your BMI, you're a little overweight. You should try to keep a healthy diet and exercise a little." I stared at her and waited for the dumb...not nice word...to look up at me and said "I am not fat. I run 5 miles every other day and I keep a pretty strict diet." Yeah, that shut her up fast. So if a doctor ever starts rattling off BMI crap to you, don't let it get you down.
Okay, onto my story, when I was in middle school, I was very self conscious because...well let's blame puberty because what 13 year old girl in the world hasn't been self conscious? If you weren't lucky you XD rock on~! And despite being thin...I had some thighs...hahaha my best friend and I had some thighs and man is it an ego killer when you squeeze into jeans (the year was 2003 and tight fit bell bottoms were back in and I believe low rise was more and more popular). So basically I had some big thighs and when I tried to fit into jeans, that was always where they got stuck. When I got them all the way up, I think I had practically cut off blood flow to my legs annnd the waist was too big. Omg what a nightmare...and really all that happened was my butt grew into match my thighs better. So I went from that 0-1 to a 3-4. I don't care what size you are, when you go up in pants size you're always like...noooo. So 01->3-4 or like 7-8->9-10 your self confidence is like ~_~ you are fat...go work out fatty. <- my self conscious is harsh lol. But heyy a decent amount of my friends were bigger than me and were like, "Shush you're skinny, don't complain." So I was like...huh...okay :) (what can I say I'm simple minded haha). I was about 110lbs at this time.
Onto high school. I got into Cross Country 3 mile (5k) races. So work outs were everyday of the week running 3-10 miles. Hill days. Sprint days. Two days of weight lifting a week. Invitationals on Sat. So my only day off was Sunday. Now diet wise, I cut out all fast food. I generally only drank water and refused to drink anything else except the occasional Gatorade after a race. Sometimes a V8 juice. Maybe some oj, but mostly water. I tried to eat mostly healthy foods. In mass though...burning the amount of calories I was, I ate healthy foods but a lot of food nonetheless. I could devour two plates of pasta and it didn't matter because I'd be burning it up in no time. I was fat phobic on myself. I didn't run competitively year round. Only from July-February. So I had 4 months off and wouldn't typically run. The occasional long jog for the hell of it at best, but the slightest sign of fat on my stomach...(and I mean slight...I had abs in those days. I little two pack :) ) but yeah the slightest sign of fat sent me into a frenzy of ab workouts. Like, I went nuts. I was so used to being lean that body fat freaked me out. Notably I also developed lactose intolerance in high school. :( I miss ice cream. In high school I stayed about 115-120lbs the whole time.
Onto college...Well I loved running but injuries took me down senior year. I came in 7th place one race but one mile in my foot had been in pain. I ignored it because I was in 5th place then. I dropped back to 7th but pushed onward. I was running about 7:30 miles in a 3 mile race. I caused stress fractures in my arch. But heyy I got my medal! Hahaha, stupid me. I also went to art college so no sports :( Now initially I tried to run on my own but between school, partying, and whatever else, I eventually fell off that. And I gained weight. I was the heaviest I'd ever been. I went up to 147lbs- I could have cried. But overall, I still wasn't anything close to what most people would consider obese. Again, I knew people who were bigger than me and well I felt bad complaining since I was still smaller. But inside haaated my guts.
My parents, especially my dad, had no qualms about holding back. My dad would often toss in the "looking a little chubby" kind of comments. Now my parents aren't abusive; my dad's not a total jerk, before anyone gets mad at him. They're honest and I didn't mind the push. Mygo was like "boo, I'm fat" but for me, if people are noticing then I felt I should do something about it. At this time, I was a pretty solid pant size 7. So soooo depressed when my clothing started not fitting. I got an associates degree, left my first college, and moved home for my bachelors. I went into workout mode hard core again. I ran 5 miles every other day or so. I did 200 varied crunches daily and 20 push ups. I had a strict diet of fruits and veggies, low carbs. I drank lots of green tea which, by the way, is great for you for weight loss and general health. I used green tea and coffee to kick start the metabolism I'd destroyed with my poor, broke college student eating habits. But I noticed my weight only reduced to 140lbs despite my pant size going back to a 3. When I lost the weight is when a good handful of people realized I had in fact put weight on in the first place. I had started to complain I was fat and no one believed me. But when I lost it all everyone was like "Wow you look great, you didn't look bad before but I see what you mean when you said you were a little overweight." My dad said something well, funny, but awful (I laughed): "Whew, for a little bit there it looked like you had eaten one of yourself." And heyy, best part was I felt good about myself again.
Since then I've come to find a better balance. If you notice I went from extreme health nut to eating like total crap in college back to health nut. But once I dropped the weight, I went back to eating a more balanced diet. I allow myself to occasionally indulge in junk food without feeling guilty and the need to go run a couple miles. I'm still not a fan of fast food like McDonald's; it makes me feel sick. But I have a soft spot for Chinese food. I got back into running after college but when old injuries flared up again, I stopped and do other things.
I live by the pants rule. Are my pants getting too tight? Is my stomach (which, by the way, no longer needs to be rock solid with ab muscle) but is my stomach starting to hang over too much? Am I getting the dreaded muffin top? And so I will check back the junk food if I feel I am. Maybe walk a little more. Take the stairs at school over the elevator. Ride a bike. I still eat a pretty healthy diet just because it's better for you than junky processed food. Treat your body good and you'll feel good. I'm not a twig. I'm not obese. I'm somewhere in the middle leaning toward the thin side and overall I think I look good no matter what anyone says! Good luck to you all on accepting your bodies!