As some of you may know, I'm going to be in a couple of weddings this summer. Dress shopping as the biggest girl has reminded me of the fact that I am A BIG GIRL. It's taken a sledgehammer to my self esteem. So for all the skinny people out there, THIS is what I and my fellow fat people have to deal with. Keep this in mind when trying to shove us in to dresses with all your skinny friends.
Clothing and I have a love/hate relationship. I love cute clothes and the people that make the cute clothes hate fat people. They HATE us. To make matters even worse, skinny people DON'T GET IT. "I can fit into EVERYTHING, so why can't you?" Because I'm fat with big boobs! No, I can't fit into that God forsaken dress! Since when is a size L THAT SMALL?!
I had an absolutely wonderful experience the other day. One of my best friends is getting married and I'm one of the "groomswomen." His bride-to-be has been looking at dresses for the other groomswomen and I to wear. I've already had to have the "big boob" talk with her about how large breasts must have enough fabric to cover them in a dress. The other two groomswomen are large chested like me (at a D I'm the small one). However, they're also skinny whereas I am the fat friend. We finally found a dress that we all liked and they only go up to an L which is APPARENTLY a size 10-12. That ain't happening. So I got to give her the "I am fat" talk complete with my measurements because having to cry at my desk feeling like a fat slob wasn't enough of an embarrassment.
She couldn't seem to understand at first why the dress wouldn't work since it's stretchy and that maybe they could take it out. First of all, no dress is stretching SIX inches and looking good. Second, you can't magically add fabric to a stretchy dress to let it out. It doesn't work like that.
It's not her fault I'm fat and it's not her fault she doesn't get it because she's never had to be fat or well endowed. Her and my skinny friends will NEVER understand.
So remember people, fat people need more fabric.
BEING THE FAT FRIEND
Being the fat one in the group SUCKS. It sucks hardcore. I've had guys become my "friend" for the sole purpose of trying to get with SC. Here's a tip, boys: FUCK OFF. Grow a pair and go talk to her instead of using me.
My skinny friends also just CANNOT understand that I am FAT. "No, you're not fat." Bitch please. I can see myself and I can read a scale. I am FAT. I didn't say I was ugly, I didn't say I wasn't awesome (I am), and I didn't say I wasn't sexy. I'm fat and it's clear as day. QUIT BABYING ME AND LIVING IN DENIAL. I pride myself in being able to put myself in another person's place and to be able to get where they're coming from. WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT I AM FAT?!
Going to the mall sucks. I might seriously stop going clothing shopping with SC and DF. They can go into Forever 21, Wet Seal, and ANYWHERE and find clothes. I get to tag along and get glares from the store workers because I can't fit into anything at their store. "Quit glaring, you're just jealous cuz you're flat chested!" I get bored and I feel like a COW. I leave the mall feeling like never eating again. Then when there's a store that I can fit in, they're bored and uninterested.
It's even MORE awesome when you also can't keep up with everyone else. I will avoid going places and doing things because I hate slowing down the group. I'm fat and I sweat, no I will not go for a hike, thank you though. And they JUST DON'T GET IT. "C'mon, it'll be fun!" How am I supposed to respond to your skinny ass that I am FAT and I can't GO THAT FAR and that my added layers make me SWEAT and I won't have fun because all that I'll be able to think about is how out of breath I am and how much I'm holding you back. GO ON WITHOUT ME.
Ah yes, the doctor. The only other person that will acknowledge that I'm fat. I swear to GOD if I get one more weight loss lecture from them I'll scream. They should include that on my chart. "Already fat-shamed."
So there you have it, folks. I'm fat and I'm clearly angry about it right now. No, don't comment and tell me how awesome I am and how I can lose weight. Instead, maybe try to get people to understand what it's like being bigger and maybe, just maybe, don't belittle or discriminate against larger people. Even at my smallest I will still be a "larger" size. It's who I am. So take it or leave it.
<3 - CFC