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Social Dancing When You're a Larger Girl

11/24/2012

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Someone suggested that I write about what it's like doing social dance and being bigger. So I am. When I asked people about what I should write about, she said: "How guys assume bigger girls are bad dancers and automatically decide to not ask them to dance.....grumble..."

First of all, let me quickly define social dancing. I'm not talking about going clubbing, I'm talking about a setting where people do actual dances with other people, such as swing dancing (my main one), waltz, cha-cha, etc. According to Wikipedia: "Social dance is a major category or classification of dance forms or dance styles, where sociability and socializing are the primary focuses of the dancing. Social dances can be danced with a variety of partners and still be led and followed in a relaxed, easy atmosphere." Basically, you dance with a variety of partners.

There are two types of dancers in social dance: leads and follows. Leads are generally male and lead the dance and the females are generally follows and follow the lead. Guys generally are the ones asking girls to dance. Side note: Girls ask guys to dance ALL of the time and girls also can be leads. I myself am a lead in swing, though not a very good one yet.

Sometimes, bigger girls can feel ignored. Just because we're big doesn't mean that we can't dance or that we're going to throw all of our weight at you when we dip. I'm actually kind of bad at being dipped because I make sure NOT to give all my weight. When SC and I stand together talking at Swing, she'll get asked to dance way more frequently by people we don't know than I ever will. It's just sort of how it is.

My friend that requested this topic feels the same way that I do. We don't get asked to dance while skinnier people do. A part of it IS the social aspect and I'll admit that not only should we ask more (I get shy) and that maybe we should put ourselves out there more, but we still can't help but see that there is some stigma about bigger girls in social dance. Yes, we're big. Yes, we can dance. My friend and I are both good dancers and we're both bigger and there's nothing wrong with that. As my other friend said, "we have the bodies of dancers, but we actually eat." So don't fear our awesomeness: come dance with us.

<3 - CFC
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